It still baffles me that we live in a world where disabled parents are so frowned upon! In fact, my husband and I were told BY A DOCTOR, no less, that it was selfish of us to become parents. Why, you ask? This particular MD crossed the line from offering medical advice to offering their very unsolicited opinion. You see, I have a number of medical diagnoses which go hand-in-hand to qualifying me as disabled. Yes, I do use a wheelchair as a mobility aid. Yes, I do need that village that every other parent also relies on from time-to-time. Yes, my husband does have to help co-parent. Yes, our children are growing up with a disabled mom and a very-abled dad.
But maybe what you don't see . . . is that our children are learning first-hand that there are many different levels of ability in the world. Our children are learning empathy through practice and not just sympathy second-hand. Our children are learning how to operate in a world without rose-colored glasses, witnessing that life isn't all peaches and cream for most of the creatures out there. Our children are learning that even parents can struggle and that hard work pays off when one sets their mind to accomplishing a goal and they then follow through to make dreams happen. Our children are learning perseverance in the face of adversity and hardship. Our children are learning respect and admiration for those of us who aren't quite perfect in the eye of the world. So should we be parents? Well, I can tell you this! Becoming parents was the single best decision that we have ever made and raising our children together is our favorite part of life! Maybe we don't fit that classic picture of parenthood, and maybe the task of raising kids looks a little different for us, but I can promise you that God made that decision for us and I think it's a little egotistical of anyone who decides that disabled peoples shouldn't pursue parenthood. If you have the resources and support to make child rearing safe, don't let anyone -- even a doctor -- tell you that you shouldn't follow your heart. You know what's right and wrong. You know what's in your heart. And fate has a way of helping make that decision for you anyways. I almost listened to that doctor. I almost gave up my dream of becoming a mother. And, thank goodness, my husband had more sense than I! Once upon a time, he told me that we deserved to make our own decisions for our life and that one doctor shouldn't color our life together just because they had their own unsolicited opinion. I joined a support group for disabled mom's, we didn't give up, and now our children are our lives! Here's to raising our littles and living our dreams together so that the world can become a much better place! And Kuddos to anyone who was and is brave enough to live your life without letting the judgment of others hold you back from your dreams! Cheers, Danielle
**Please note that all advice and experiences listed on the Dani's Dabbles website and corresponding blog is NOT to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please consult your own doctors before making any decisions that might impact your health. Our site is meant as a way for patients to become more knowledgeable about shared conditions so that they can better advocate for themselves. Keep researching and be responsible for your health in a way that is both safe and healthy!**
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