I can’t remember the number of times that someone has heard that I’m a stay at home mother and responded with something like, “Oh that’s wonderful! I didn’t have the luxury of staying home when I was working.” First off, there are definitely benefits of getting to stay home with my child. I see all of the beautiful moments and get to watch her grow and develop first hand. It’s the best! However…
Making the decision to operate a growing family on a single income is not about luxury. It’s not a decision based on the fact that we are so abundant that we can do it this way just for funsies. Being so chronically ill that I haven’t been able to hold a job in years is NOT luxury. My husband having to work more than one job just to provide for us because I can’t hold that job is NOT luxury. Dealing with the repercussions of having a very lopsided financial load in our relationship and the stressors that puts on a marriage is NOT luxury. Not working because I deal with a long list of very real limitations and disability each moment of every day is NOT a luxury. Sure, there are some silver-linings to my condition. And once in a while, during a complete life of shit-health-dealing, we are able to look above our treading water long enough to see the beauty that we do have as a family. But our life is hard. We struggle on a daily basis to survive, just like everyone else. We work hard, just like everyone else. And just in case you missed the last several years of social media and widespread knowledge helping to largely reverse the traditional bias that leads to suffering and invalidation across the globe, being a stay at home parent IS AND FOREVER WILL BE a FULL-TIME JOB! That is all, Danielle
**Please note that all advice and experiences listed on the Dani's Dabbles website and corresponding blog is NOT to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please consult your own doctors before making any decisions that might impact your health. Our site is meant as a way for patients to become more knowledgeable about shared conditions so that they can better advocate for themselves. Keep researching and be responsible for your health in a way that is both safe and healthy!**
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May 2021
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